Identity Change

My Changing Identity

This morning I woke up at 5:57am to let the meowing cat and antsy dog outside.  I had all intentions of going back to bed when I made that move because it was dark, and it couldn’t possibly be time to get up.  After seeing the clock, I found myself standing in the middle of the living room, frozen in deciding whether I go back to bed or start my day.  After all, it was Thanksgiving break and the kids didn’t have school, I didn’t have to go to work, we had no appointments or any other pressing things to accomplish other than making two pumpkin pies that day.  Why wouldn’t I go back to bed?  The thought that kept me standing frozen in the living room was a goal I had made over two years ago. Yes, back in August of 2018, I started this journey. I made a goal to shift away from being a life-long night owl and become a morning person who could get up in the morning and move my body before eating breakfast. That probably sounds ironic coming from someone who has been a personal trainer for 20 years, but it’s true.  It felt like an enormous goal, but I really wanted it.  Why did I want to become someone who wakes up at 5:57am?  Why did it matter?  It mattered because I needed to find myself again.  I had thrown my whole self into my kids for seven years straight.  I was exhausted.  I was grumpy.  And everything was my husband’s fault.  That’s not who I was or who I wanted to be. I needed a shift. An enormous shift. I wanted to enjoy my kids. I wanted my marriage to be strong again. I wanted to feel great in my body. I wanted to feel happy every day.

So, after standing frozen in the living room, I found myself walking to the kitchen to heat up some water. Not thinking about what I was doing, I fell into the automatic routine that I had been designing for two years.  I had been doing this routine on most mornings, but on a smaller scale.  Today however, instead of my two minutes of morning exercise, I did a 30-minute yoga class from my computer.  It felt divine.   I couldn’t believe that I had finally made it to this goal.  I remember how out of reach it felt over the years, and now it just fell into place.  There were a lot of moments and decisions where I made choices that were not aligned with this goal. I could have given up at any time. No one was making me do this. But I was making me do this. It was that important to me. My family was that important to me. No matter how long it took, I was going to climb that mountain. And after consistently climbing, with some slip-ups, I made it. Click here to learn about starting your own journey.

Share this post

Next Step: Download your FREE copy of 5 Small Habits to Drastically Improve Your Health and Wellness

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *